That Time Toilets Gave Away a Cold War Secret

Bonus Facts

#1: While Canada has never officially developed or owned nuclear
weapons, between 1950 and 1984 various American nuclear weapons
were stationed on Canadian soil. The first weapons to arrive in
Canada were Mk.4 atomic bombs similar to the one dropped on
Nagasaki, which in 1950 were deployed to Goose Bay in Labrador for
use by American B-50 bombers flying northern deterrence
patrols.  On November 10 of that year, when the bombs were
being flown back to America, one bomber encountered engine trouble
and was forced to jettison its weapon over the St. Lawrence river.
While the bomb did not have its Plutonium core installed, the
conventional explosives aboard detonated, contaminating the river
with other radioactive components. However, Canada’s relationship
with nuclear weapons would soon become far more hands-on.

In the early 1950s the main nuclear threat to North America was
from Soviet bombers flying over the North Pole. With guided missile
technology still in its infancy, the only way of shooting down
these bombers was with manned interceptor aircraft armed with a
largely ineffective assortment of cannons and unguided rockets.
This left defence planners in a precarious position, as only one
bomber getting through could mean the deaths of hundreds of
thousands of civilians. In response, weapons manufacturers began
developing small nuclear weapons to destroy large numbers of
bombers at once. The first of these weapons to enter service was
the Douglas AIR-2 Genie, also known to pilots as the “Ding-Dong.”
The Genie was terrifying in its simplicity, having no guidance
system or sophisticated arming mechanisms: just a solid rocket
motor, time fuse, and a 1.5 kiloton nuclear warhead capable of
destroying anything within a 300 meter radius. The Genie was tested
only once as part of Operation Plumbbob on July 19, 1957, being
launched at an altitude of 20,000 feet over the Nevada Test Site
from an F-89 Scorpion interceptor. To prove that the weapon was
safe to use over populated areas, five Air Force Officers
volunteered to stand below the blast without any sort of protective
gear. For more on this, see our video: That
Time Five Dudes Volunteered to Stand at Ground Zero of a Nuclear
Blast

The second nuclear air-defence weapon to be developed was the
Boeing CIM-10 Bomarc, a ramjet-powered, ground-launched guided
missile armed with a 10 kiloton warhead. The presence of the Genie
and Bomarc in the US inventory made the Canadian Government more
than a little nervous, as even if these weapons were deployed as
far north as possible along the border, their limited range meant
that interception would likely occur over Canadian cities. In order
to push the interception range further north, in 1960 the
government of Prime Minister John Diefenbaker reluctantly agreed to
build Bomarc missile bases in Canada. This decision proved
extremely controversial, especially as it contributed to the
cancellation of the highly-advanced CF-105 Avro Arrow interceptor –
an decision that still provokes passionate debate in Canada to this
day. At first the leader of the opposition, Lester Pearson, opposed
the adoption of nuclear weapons, but later changed his mind and
largely on this basis won the 1963 election. The first
nuclear-armed Bomarcs arrived at Canadian Forces Base North Bay in
December of that year.

In addition to the Bomarcs, CF-101 Voodoo interceptors based in
Canada carried Genie rockets, while RCAF CF-104 Starfighters
deployed in Germany were armed with various nuclear bombs with
yields of up to 1 Megaton. Finally, Canadian Army troops in Germany
were equipped with the MGR-1 Honest John unguided ground-to-ground
rocket, which could carry up to a 61-kiloton warhead. Officially,
all these warheads remained the property of the United States, with
Canadian personnel required to obtain consent from an American
liaison officer before loading them onto Canadian aircraft.

Canada’s time as a nuclear-armed nation came to an end in 1984
when its Genie rockets and CF-104 Starfighters finally became
obsolete and were retired from service. Since then Canada has
signed various non-proliferation treaties and has disavowed any
future possession or use of nuclear weapons.

#2: The Diefenbunker incident wasn’t the only time toilets
nearly gave away Cold War secrets. When the Space Transport System,
better known as the Space Shuttle, was designed in the late 1970s,
one of its key design parameters was that its cargo bay be large
enough to carry military satellites. Between 1982 and 1992, the
Space Shuttle flew 10 joint missions to deploy secret Department of
Defence payloads, details of which remain classified to this day.
Maintaining secrecy on these missions was challenging, as the
majority of the crews were regular NASA astronauts without
high-level security clearance, and the Shuttle was not equipped
with secure communications equipment. But the greatest security
threat came from an unexpected source: the Shuttle’s toilet.
Incredibly, the toilet was equipped with a microphone so that NASA
flight surgeons could monitor the astronaut’s digestive health. As
the military feared that this microphone could potentially pick up
conversations regarding the classified payload, once the Shuttle
landed it fell to an unfortunate Military Intelligence officer to
sit through several days worth of recorded fart noises to ensure no
vital secrets were revealed. And you thought your job was
shit…